“No one should ever feel less than because they are different.”

The Undesired Difference

With the sharp pinch of a needle, blood began to flow seamlessly into a small plastic tube. I stared as a nurse took away the red-colored vials and bid me farewell. Hours later, I still felt the phantom pain of the needle in my arm. It would be the first of many blood tests that would occur throughout my life. The test was positive, and in the first grade, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease.

This diagnosis turned my life upside down. The world of food that I knew was suddenly snatched away from me and replaced with a plethora of unknowns. I could no longer eat anything that contained gluten. Quickly, I learned that most foods I ate contained this wheat protein. My house became a wasteland of products neither my mom nor I could eat, as she also has Celiac. The search for new foods was the next step after my diagnosis. Not many options for gluten-free items were available at grocery stores or restaurants then. And the struggle did not stop at food. Using certain art supplies, cosmetic items, soap, and even licking envelopes was now forbidden. So many changes were happening that it was hard for 11-year-old me to process. It was a whirlwind of: “You can’t eat that” and “Don’t touch this” and “Make sure you read the ingredients." (Being gluten-free has turned me into an avid ingredient label reader.) But aside from all of that, the toughest thing was feeling left out. At school, a birthday in the class was no longer an enjoyable event for me, but rather an anxiety-filled nightmare. I knew I would have no choice but to decline the delicious treat that would be brought in for the celebration, having to settle for a meager gluten-free alternative. All eyes would be on me while I solemnly ate my lesser snack.

As kids, we savor being alike. We want the same clothes, toys, and hobbies as our friends. Being the same as everyone else was not an option with my gluten-free diet. I stood out when I did not want to. I struggled with being the center of attention for something that I wanted no attention drawn to, ashamed of having to be different. Growing up and developing into who I am today has taught me being different is not bad. It is what makes each of us unique. I recognized that my disease was something that was a part of me and that I should not be ashamed of it because there is nothing wrong with me. No one should ever feel less than because they are different. Additionally, I learned to harness my difference for good by educating my family, friends, and peers about Celiac Disease. Despite many hardships involving it, I would never take back my experiences with having a food allergy. It helped me to grow and mature in a way that many others may never understand.

-Lillian E.