“I’m grateful that my food allergies have helped me to discover who I am and what I need to live healthy and strong.”

Dining out is tricky for me. It requires a lot of planning and repeated explanations, and even with all of that, it can still end up in disappointment if a restaurant cannot accommodate my allergies to peanuts, nuts, and shellfish. I am constantly calling restaurants to find out how seriously they take food allergies. When I get an “Oh yeah, you’ll be fine” or a “Don’t worry about it,” that usually means I need to try another place. Even when I find a promising spot, I still need to ensure the server, the kitchen staff, and the manager know how to deal with my allergies. I now have this little routine down pat. Even so, I have often ordered just a Sprite while watching everyone else eat, because I wasn't 100 percent sure it was safe but didn't want to inconvenience my friends, none of whom have serious food allergies like I do.

Here's the thing, though. While there are plenty of downsides to having food allergies - missing out and constantly being on guard - there is at least one unexpected but inherently more valuable advantage. Advocating for myself at the dinner table has taught me how to speak up for myself and my own wellbeing in the classroom, at work, and in dozens of other situations.

I learned this self-advocacy early. My mother likes to tell the story that when I was five, she took me with her to a medical appointment she had on Halloween. I was decked out in costume, and the nurses insisted that I stop by each of their stations to "trick or treat." When the first nurse gave me a piece of candy, my mom nudged me, "Jack, what do you say?" She meant to remind me to say thank you, but I responded, "Are there any nuts in this? I'm allergic." I had already internalized the importance of not eating things without being absolutely sure of what is in them. Reading labels, double-checking about cross-contamination, and asking questions - all of these have made me more aware of what I put in my body and enabled me to make informed decisions in other areas of my life. Saying no to foods I cannot have has given me the strength and discipline to say no to other things that are not good for me.

There is no doubt that having severe food allergies involves making sacrifices. I cannot tell you how many times I have declined a treat because I wasn't able to verify that it was nut-free. Last year, my prom date and I had to eat separately from our friends when they voted to eat at a seafood restaurant. Still, there is a feeling of empowerment that comes with taking care of myself, and in the end, I’m grateful that my food allergies have helped me to discover who I am and what I need to live healthy and strong.

-John S.